Yoga!

I love yoga! I love that it's something that makes me feel good and that my kids like to do it too. This picture is of J. and I during our Moms and Toddlers yoga class (the same one where C. clings to me the whole time and really throws off the balance poses).

It all started for me in 1998 when I had a near-death experience and opted for yoga instead of therapy. The few times since then when I've lapsed in yoga for a few months or so, I've really missed it. After 11 years you'd think I'd be pretty good, right?

Well, I'm not. But I wish I was. The thing is, I haven't found exactly the right yoga for me yet. Yoga at home is good but I really like a teacher's inspiring words and guidance. But I'm a yoga snob- I won't go to just any yoga class (well, I'm sure I'd go. But I wouldn't want to pay!) I'm going to a yoga studio that's a 30-45 min drive from my house right now bc I don't like the style or the timing or the techniques of any classes offered at any studios closer.

When I'm pregnant, I demand prenatal yoga. And then post-natal yoga. And then mom and baby yoga. And then get-your-body-back yoga. That's where I'm at now.

And I'm always thinking, I know this stuff. Why am I paying so much money for the honor of doing what I already know with a teacher/technique/studio/timing that isn't right for me? I should just get certified to teach yoga and then I can do it my way and teach others (which I love) and they'll pay me to do yoga!

Right now, the studio and the classes that I go to are worth the money, for sure. But it's such a long drive... and some days it conflicts with C.'s naps... and some days the childcare might be full and I don't want to risk a long drive and then get turned away... there's always something.

My New Years Resolution for 2009: begin the process for yoga certification.

I told everyone about this bc I was so jazzed that this time last year I had found a glimmer of passion in my new-baby-sleep-deprived-hormonal-exhausted-unmotivated self. I held onto that identity (I know who I am. I'm a woman that is going to be a yoga instructor!) and it pulled me through that rough period and by January 1st, 2009, I was ready to get started on the process.

Step one: stick with the same yoga instructor for at least 6 months. This is a requirement and it is by far the hardest requirement for me of the whole process. I haven't stuck with anyone that long since my favorite teacher left 5 years ago. She was certified from the same studio that I go to now which is why I really jive with this place (kripalu and pranakriya styles, for those who care).

Well, I barely made it. I've been taking classes there for that long but I jump around with different instructors within each session because my schedule changes so much and my kids nap schedules change and up until now I haven't felt that C. was ready to be in a childcare setting while I was in yoga. So I've been all over the place but I'm hoping they'd let me slide since it was at least the same studio and the same 3 instructors.

But then, I realized how hard it would be to get certified. Yoga from Friday at 6pm until Sunday at 6pm, one weekend per month for a whole year. That sounds lovely to me. A dream come true. But totally not doable.

I postponed it a year bc I was nursing last winter and that would have been a headache to be away that much. Now it's still a headache but for different reasons- I'd really miss the kids, I work on weekends too, we're very busy people and that's a huge huge huge committment, Jeremiah needs me at home so he can do stuff too, and I feel like it would be a sacrifice, not a gift to myself.

So what to do? I already talked it up. We saved up the money. I had a vision of my future that included this path. But I started to not want to do it anymore and I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it's because I got through the boring time in my job and the fun stuff finally started. Maybe it's because I got my body back from pregnancy and nursing and I found a balance again. Maybe it's because we're going to have so much else going on in the next few years that I don't want to have something else on my plate.

Well, guess what people- my angst is over! I got an idea last night, looked into it before breakfast, and made a decision all before I even got dressed for the day.

I'm going to get certified in Itsy Bitsy Yoga! I'll still be around yoga, but it's yoga with kids which takes away a lot of my scheduling challenges. It doesn't cost as much money to get certified so I wouldn't have to work as much to earn back what I spent getting certified (which is a major goal around here and neither of us have yet to do that with our degrees and our jobs, thank you sallie mae). Certification is 5 days of classes with 4 months of homework- totally doable! And if I decide not to make it my main gig, it won't be so much money and time gone, which is a major pressure reliever. Because I'm not already a yoga instructor I have to do a little more work and pay some extra fees but that's ok.

I'm really excited to do this and I'm going to enroll for the classes in August and September as soon as I get back from vacation.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm going to the Grand Canyon with friends for 5 days tomorrow!? Why, yes, I am going to the Grand Canyon with friends for 5 days and we're leaving tomorrow. Whoooo Hooooo!!!!