Who do I think I am?

Slept in, Morning Yoga, Delicious lunch (goat cheese sandwich and salad from my CSA), Afternoon at the Spa.  This was my day today. Who do I think I am that I can have a daily schedule like this? A socialite? A retiree? A woman without kids?

But really, it went like this: slept in on the couch for an hour snuggled with J. while my husband continued to sleep in for real (it was his day) and C. was down for her first nap 7:30-8:30 bc I was up with her at 5:30am. 

Morning Yoga (Mommy Yoga and Toddlers Social Hour class) with J. running circles around me when she wasn't following along on her own mat, bless her cuteness! And C. trying to crawl up into my arms which is a challenge for the balance poses but mostly we make it work in a baby monkey kind of way.  I lay in shivasana at the end with one eye opened bc if I let my guard down for a second, one of my kids is sure to help me by stepping on my belly while dropping a sand-filled eye pillow onto my nose (as happened today).

Delicious lunch with kids isn't bad as long as its a delicious lunch so I had that going for me.

And then the afternoon at the spa was not good. not good at all. My appointment was for Monday but she accidently cancelled me on her books so I was stood up. She begged me to reschedule bc she felt so bad and I explained that that was my only chance to go bc of work schedule and child care. She convinced me that it would be fine for me to bring both kids with me. To her spa. While I'm getting waxed! 

-Let's take a moment here. Waxed? Like a swimsuit model? Who do I think I am? I've never waxed anything before, except, yes Jessie, I remember that one time senior year of high school when you convinced me to Nair my upper lip and I got like a serious chemical burn that looked like a puffy red moustache. And for those of you not there, I came to school the next day and nursed it with cold paper towels all through the day. Because what did I care if people knew that I had had a hairy upper lip that I tried to get rid of and instead it shown for the world, brighter than I could have even guessed? My thoughts were that my boyfriend didn't even go to this school so who did I have to impress?  So that's me and that part of me hasn't changed.

Except that I went to get waxed for some reason and maybe it's because I thought if I had a professional do it, then it wouldn't be so alarming and then I wouldn't have to worry about it and that would make me feel better knowing that at least I didn't have to worry about that. And a lip wax lead me to asking for a bikini wax, which lead me to asking for full leg waxes (as opposed to from ankle to knee which is more common) which lead me to asking to do the armpits too, while she's at it. I was going to be sleek as an otter. -

So anyhow, today I show up at the spa with both kids plus Alphabet cookies as bribes and some favorite toys. Things were fine for the first half hour, or as fine it could be considering the circumstances. I had at least one kid sitting on my lap or belly the whole time bc they couldn't stand for me to be laying up on a table where they couldn't see what was going on. The room was not baby proofed and the practitioner's patience ran out about 3/4 way through the hour long ordeal (so at first she was sweetly asking my sweethearts not to pull on her glass bowl of sea salts or rummage through her sink cabinet of cleaning supplies). Imagine me, feeling paralyzed and embarrassed and trying to discipline while still on the table. Meanwhile, the lady's waxing most of my body which freakin hurts!

Finally by the end of it, the practitioner had a sweatband on her head bc she was perspiring so much from the athletics of waxing plus child management at lightening speed to get us the heck out of there. My kids were getting attention any way that they could, and though nothing was broken or trashed, it took all my efforts from the table to manage that. 

And the wax was a total bust! She explained that some hairs just weren't coming out, that my sensitive skin was bleeding in several spots, that my skin was raised, red, and bumpy all over (like really bad razor burn), and that there were some dribbles of wax here and there that would come off when I showered but that she was going to let go so that I could get out the door. Plus, she forgot how much I wanted waxed so she didn't warm enough wax and had run out. I was (am) a ragged mess. Not sleek. 

best moment: watching J. and C. play together and share nicely in the backseat of the car all day.

worst moment: bikini wax.

thought of the day: After such an unpleasant experience, I still gave a $20 tip. Later I pondered why. Her bedside manner was great but the end product was not. Was that her fault or just my body? I didn't want the kids there but she insisted, so am I correct that I feel so guilty about having my kids ransack her spa or should that be overlooked bc she welcomed it in return for not losing my business bc she stood me up? Did the $20 tip come from my guilt, her service, or my desire to always tip well no matter what bc it's the service industry (but owning her own personal spa isn't the same as being a Dennys waitress)? Or, I'm worried, did it come from my thoughts that I need to start being nice to anyone who knows my name so that they'll vote for my husband? Could I become that fake?