- Too bright and yellowish
- Too chunky- contrasting with my natural haircolor in such perfect rectangles was really unnatural
- Not subtle. It was a new hairSTYLE, not just a touch up of the pretty highlights that I had before.
[this is like that article I read in the City Paper several years ago about city waiters. And the waiters they polled across the city agreed that for whatever reason, people will still give a good tip if you give them surly service. As if they hope to buy approval from their waiter through the tip. I think I'm like that. I always kill 'em with kindness. and tips.]
And all day yesterday I was bummed about my bleached out, neon hair. I was hoping I would get used to it and kicking myself for walking out hoping it would fade once it dried. I've since learned that highlights get brighter when they dry, not darker. Doh.
Today I went to the monthly MOMS Club meeting and about a dozen people said they liked my hair. I talked to each and every one of them about how my hair was, in fact, totally crappy and I hate it. Nice, huh? Way to take a compliment. Way to turn a passing comment into a long conversation (monologue?) about bad highlights and options to correct it.
Everyone said I should go back and demand a "fix", at no cost. That's as painful for me as returning something or saying "no thank you" or asking for something additional. Ridiculous, I know. But it gives me heart palpitations and I'll avoid scenarios like that at all costs. Especially since I knew the whole situation was really vain and not a big deal in the scope of things so I should just let it go. To avoid confrontation, I was going to buy a box of hair dye from the store and reset the whole thing to brown.
But I went to work after the MOMS Club meeting and I kept debating it and telling myself to grow up. So after work I decided to just drive home in the direction of Hair Cuttery, no pressure. Then my mix CD started to play "American Girl" by Tom Petty. You know the opening... guitar, shaker, drums. That's my music for killing zombies, if I had my choice of inspirational background music when the time comes. It's my "Eye of the Tiger". And I decided it was meant to be. So I made the turn and parked the car and marched right in there to ask for a fix.
The staff was very kind (it helped me that the girl who did my hair wasn't in that day). They did the fix perfectly (though it's still chunky, but I wasn't going to demand a full do-over. color adjustment was good enough for this fight.). Then I realized that they weren't going to charge me for this, which was good. But the girl deserved a tip for her friendly service and I didn't have any cash. So I asked her to give me a haircut afterwards so I had a big enough bill to charge it and I could include a good tip for her in that! I like my haircut too (Jeremiah says it's unnoticeable. That's the point! He doesn't understand.). All better now.
Best Moment of the Day:
I got up early for a morning yoga session and Jeremiah took care of the kids' needs so I could just say "go ask Daddy." sweet!
Worst Moment of the Day:
I developed a pounding headache resulting from listening to too many pre-bedtime meltdowns. My kids talked themselves right into early bedtimes tonight!
Thoughts of the Day:
At my meeting today, my friend Tanya said "if you don't stand up for yourself, who will?" This reminded me of when I was in 12th grade and I was taking Calculus 1. I sucked at it, although I was really good at all previous math classes. One part was that Calculus is really hard, and one part was that it was senior year and I didn't need that class to graduate. So I put in the paperwork to drop out of Calculus. And my teacher told me no! So I went to the Math department head and told her my story and she also agreed on no. They said it would be good for me to stick with it. WTF?
So I went home and told my mom. She said if I didn't want to do it, I shouldn't have to- it's my life. Exactly! And then when I asked her to talk to the Principal on my behalf, she said no! What?! My mom said she was always sticking up for me and if I really wanted this, I should do it for myself. I remember begging her. I mean begging till it was so comical that I couldn't keep a straight face. And she still said no. So I had to decide: fight for my rights, or take calculus.
So of course I scheduled an appointment with the Principal and had a meeting with him and all the math teachers and listened to their advice calmly and then still demanded to drop the class. I had a signed letter from my mom with me so they had to let me. And I remember telling myself, I can do this because I'm my mother's daughter and she can do this.
How crazy that I would literally kill someone to defend my children, and yet I get totally anxious over defending myself.
It all boils down to having approval from others. You will grow out of it. I think I am already there though I expected it would happen at 40 and was willing to wait 5 more years. Now, it doesn't bother me if I hear someone has said something about me...the people who really know me know that I am not a bad person and that is all that matters. I am not saying that I can just be rude and demanding to strangers but, when it boils down to standing up for myself; I can strike the balance between being respectful and demanding at the same time. Clearly, you can too! Good for you, American Girl!
ReplyDeleteThis is a timely post.
ReplyDeleteHere's my related story from my work day: We have lots of shared lab space. We have to sign up to share certain areas of the lab, and there are materials we are supposed to order when they get low. We're also supposed to take out the trash and arrange for pickup of biohazard. No big deal, right? Except that there is massive deindividuation and nobody thinks they should be responsible for this stuff. Our work place is a mess because of it. This week I started to call people out on it. I felt self-conscious every single time. I felt like a bitch---and I started to feel like "that person" whom everyone at work despises and bashes over cold beers at the local. The capstone experience of my week occurred at 4:30PM today. I had autoclaved some gauze this morning (clearly labeled with the name of our lab), and when I went to pick it up out of the autoclave, I noticed someone had torn the package open (now it's no longer sterile) and helped themselves to it. I confronted the offending lab in its entirety, including the investigator who runs the lab. I got stunned silence followed by apologies. The thing is, I don't want people to kiss my ass, or fear me, or to even do anything to make up for it. I don't even want apologies. I just want them to not take my shit. Standing up for yourself is hard, especially if you are a woman. We are taught to be cooperative and undemanding, but the truth is people will walk all over you if you don't stand up for yourself. I am finally starting to stand up for myself, but I'm not quite beyond caring what other people think of me. I still feel like a bitch, even if I'm wholly justified in my complaints.
Sorry for the novel. BTW, Mr. McCusker totally let me drop calculus without any argument. I think he realized I was a lost cause!